One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
