he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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