There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
if i can run in heels then i can drive
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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