She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize