Just fell off a train. Bad.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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