I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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