Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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