You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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