if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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