and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
