the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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