Need sex. Gaining weight.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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