we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
