you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
