; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
