Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
i think my cat just said my name.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
