please come you make the beer taste better
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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