oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
