I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
