You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize