This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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