I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
