i permit you to call me
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
