Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
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