I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Randomize
