My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Please don't give away my fajitas
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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