i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Sorry about my life...
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
