I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
