She is in my trunk
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
