Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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