Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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