Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
