I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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