theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize