Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
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