i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
