and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
