am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
