Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
even my farts smell like vagina
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
