Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
