Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We talked him into tasing himself.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
