Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
