i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
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I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
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You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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