and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
