so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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