Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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