Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
