There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
