did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
