Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
