spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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