It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I believe in your delicious
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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