You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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