He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
