You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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