We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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