Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
