if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
