I'm really into asian looking animals
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
